The Bomber Guest Blogger: The Bomber’s 5 Principles of Expressing Racial Preferences in the Lifestyle

Pool Party Recap and Upcoming Events

Naughty in N’awlins

The Belle and the Bomber, The Black n Kinky Lifestyle Podcast

The Bomber in the Black n Kinky Lifestyle Podcast

“We don’t play with Black couples… but we will hang out with them.” I will never forget the day I was browsing on a swinger website, and I came across a couple’s profile that had that line in their “what we are looking for” section. The second part of the statement was clearly a “we are not racist” claim. But that is the thing about racism, it’s like drug addiction. Few people admit to it, but you can guarantee that they are probably using alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, Adderall or Ambien on a regular basis and just refuse to stop. But there are few racist assholes who have “RACIST” tattooed on their forehead. Racism is a behavioral phenomenon, labeling someone as racist is pretty useless, you just gotta listen to the shit they do and say. And when you say “we don’t play with Black people” you just said some pretty racist shit.

Like what other explanation is there other than you being a racist asshole. “We don’t play with Black people?” What is that really all about? Is it about the male partner not wanting his wife with a Black dude? I can understand, no one wants to have their wife split in two because those huge Black d*cks can be fucking lethal after all! You seen what happens to them chicks on Blacked! Lex Steel and his tattooed minions deserve the needle. Or maybe she is worried that her fair skinned prince will be taken by a Beyonce built Nubian queen who has sworn vengeance on them Beckys with the good hair. Beware of the Bey. Maybe this couple had a run in with that one Black couple that fucked it up for everybody. Dammit Rayray and Lakisha, stop bringing 40’s to these BYOB meet and greets, you are making us look bad!!

Anyway, perhaps that is not it at all, maybe I am being too harsh. Black people have had an interesting history in the lifestyle. There are Chocolate rooms in some lifestyle party settings, where black men are available to any women that will have them. The lifestyle throws around terms like BBC and queen of spades all the time, highlighting the all too common practice of fetishizing black bodies. And this couple made a stand to not be a part of that crew. There are hordes of people going for negro love and they want to tell the world that they ain’t about that life. But still, I would have liked a little more detail. What was it about Black people that made them absolutely off limits, so off limits, that they had to call them out? It’s like, they would have been willing to fuck anything or anyone else, horses, incels, devil worshipers, but Black people? Hell Nah!

So I stepped out of my circle and asked the twitter verse about this, “is there anything wrong with stating your racial preferences on your profile?” As suspected there were some variations in the responses. Besides the folks who chalked it up to racism and slipped into the typical outrage fuss, others suggested that it is just a preference. People like what they like. Boom there it was, it was as simple as that. Except, it isn’t. Race has never been simple, and that is where I think the problem is. People assume that race does not come with baggage. It fucking comes with baggage and we should accept that. But for those folks out there that don’t feel like revisiting the topics of that one race relations elective you took back in undergrade, here are a few simple principles about racial preference expressions in the lifestyles that I think you should know.

1. Having preferences or attraction to persons of your particular race is not racist, so don’t feel bad about that, this doesn’t give you an excuse to be an asshole.


So let’s get this out of the way because this one is easy. Science has backed up the fact that we tend to gravitate towards people like us. White people tend to go out with white people, Black people target other Black people. Attractive people tend to prefer other attractive people. Trump supports go after trump supporters, cause there is something truly special about them folks.  That is just how it works out. Of course there are exceptions, yes I am acknowledging them swirl couples out there! Do you boo! Now I’m not saying you gotta want to play with Black people. Your body is not an equal opportunity organization. But the shit you do and say fucking matters.

We have all kinds of preferences, and given that Race comes with baggage, declarations about one’s racial preferences is the issue here, not the preference itself. Think of it this way, I have a preference for people who can walk. This is likely because walking is a big part of my life, I do it all the time. And I have an attraction to people who walk. Paraplegics are not a group of people I tend to go for. Imagine I wrote that shit on my profile. We don’t play with paraplegics, or blind people, or people who have a history of sickle cell. That sounds really dickish, doesn’t it? It may have been the truth, or telling it like it is (Shout out Dave Chappelle). But I sounded like kind of a prick. And no one wants to sound like a prick. Which brings me to my next point.

2. Treating racial preference as any other preference can end up making you look like a dick.

Most dating websites, whether they are vanilla or not, ensure that users describe their preferences. That shit is important! I need to know whether you have a preference for slim dudes with skinny legs who watch StarWars and enjoy anime tentacle porn…maybe that was too specific. Anyway, people write all kinds of things, you have probably seen them:

If you mention a preference for race, or worse exclude an entire racial group on your profile, it may lead to the question as to “Why”. Do you have to explain? No. But it couldn’t hurt in some cases. But the answer to that “why” could be that you are a racist asshole. I dare ask again, why would you feel the need to put it on your profile? Do you have hordes of this non-prefered race sending you excessive messages, begging to get into your pants, drooling over your photo galleries, flooding your social media with likes, DMs and comments?

I could totally understand, you don’t want to waste anyone’s time. All those messages and inquiries you have to reply to are too dam much. Why are these people so thirsty!? Best to let them all know, I suppose. But if you don’t have this problem, why mention the preference at all? Why invite the assumption that you are a racist asshole? Of all the things you would not fuck, you had to make sure the world knew about your absolute objection to an entire race of people. It is kind of silly if you think about it. But is everyone else is on the menu? Why not declare that you don’t do criminals, mentally unstable people, killers, rapists, or people that don’t like baby Yoda? They are out there, and they might be looking at your profile right now.

3. Offensive racial preference declarations could end up cutting you off from the race that you actually prefer.

We live in a pretty diverse world and the lifestyle community itself is getting more colorful every year. Oh, we still have segregation in our community of nut busters, but times are a changin. And more event promoters desire diversity because, at the end of the day, the lifestyle can expose us to a buffet of people with different races and ethnicities and we all like buffets right? The diversity of porn categories proves it, yeah I’m talking to you pornhub. It’s all super sexy. But you know what’s not sexy? Drama and racism. And if you have a hint of it on your profile…well you might find yourself missing some invites, getting denied by sexy couples and flat out getting excluded from some erotic experiences. Because whether you are racist or not, who wants to take a chance with someone who is so opposed to another racial group that they have to make a declaration of it? Yes, remember them Whites Only signs? They were a thing once. Why make them a thing again?

4. Racial preferences can be an unnecessary ambiguity on your profile. 

Race is one of these really simple words we use to describe some complex shit. Let’s say you don’t play with Black people. Does that include bi-racial folks? Do you adhere to the one-drop rule? If not, what is the maximum amount of blackness that you can tolerate before you find yourself overdosing from exposure to swag, natural curls and shay butter? If I am an eighth black, is that too much for you? Or does it only matter if I look Black? Or is it about identifying as Black? Cause I might be trans-white or trans-asian, don’t tell me who I am dammit! Do you need to see my birth certificate? What happens when you are talking to an interracial couple? Or a couple that adopted a Black child. Spoiler alert, Halle Berry will find Isaiah. 

5. “We prefer” statements are much better than “We don’t do” statements.

Racial preference may have a place on your profile under some circumstances, but even then, you should avoid “excluding” language. If you are an individual or couple of a particular race that is a local minority and you are looking for that minority, it may make sense to mention that preference. I can imagine an Indian couple living in a Latino community, needing to make it clear that they are looking for other Indian couples. This is because most people looking at their profile will not be Indian and they don’t want to waste their time responding to message after message from people they aren’t interested in. While I’m on the subject, shout out to that Indian couple we met at the Halloween interracial party because ya’ll were SEXY AS FUCK. Call us!

The point is sometimes you are looking for something very particular in a haystack of non-particulars. Even then, you want to stick with what you prefer and not what or who you don’t want.

But then again, you might just be a racist prick looking for other racist pricks. If that is the case. Please disregard this message. And flaunt your racist spirit for all to see.

The Bomber

Have you heard the lastest Black n Kinky podcast episode with the Belle and the Bomber?  They describe some of the fun they had at our 1st Afro Caribbean Pool Party in Stafford, VA. CLICK HERE to listen.

Thank You to those of you who met with the Amour Getaways tribe in Laurel at our Hotel Social.  We also still have space at the upcoming Cabin Getaway.  You will not want to miss our bonus workshop on the art of Firting and Squirting with Sex Educator Marla Stewart of the Sex Down South Conference.  

Did you know that you can create a free sexy profile on the Amour Getaways platform?  Click Here for a sneak peak but remember, you must be an approved member to see Standard and VIP Member profiles.  If you would like to check out all of the features of becomng a VIP Member, please enter the word Newsletter in the Promo Code area to recieve a free 2-week trial (Expires Sept. 30, 2019).    If you like what you see and would like to offer this same opportunity to other like-minded friends, feel free to share the Promo Code through the end of the month.  

Upcoming Events

Sat, Sep 14 Amour Getaways Hotel Social
Intimate Hotel Party for Amour Getaways Members Fri, Oct 04 Clothing Optional Lifestyle Cabin Getaway
Bonus Couples Flirting and Squirting Workshop by Sexuality Educator Marla Stewart

Amour Getaways Hotel Social

Intimate Hotel Party for Amour Getaways Members

Saturday Sep 14 7pm-2am

Who’s Going


Clothing Optional Lifestyle Cabin Getaway

Bonus Couples Flirting and Squirting Workshop by Sexuality Educator Marla Stewart

Friday Oct 04 , 4:30pm – Sunday, Oct 06 , 4:30pmBuy Tickets Who’s Going


Naughty in N’awlins


World Famous New Orleans Swinger Lifestyle Hotel Takeover

Wednesday, July 24, 2019 through Sunday, July 28, 2019


Naughty n N’awlins is the largest annual lifestyle convention for couples, in the world. With over 1,000 couples, this event takes over one of the French Quarter’s biggest hotels; it takes over Bourbon St. Open-minded couples will have the opportunity to attend a wide variety of seminars and Bourbon St. parties by day and themed Balls by night. By attending some of the classes, couples will create long lasting memories that will make you a better lover, partner, and individual. These memories will come equipped with new skills and a boost in confidence that couples will continue to cherish and practice well beyond those moments.

If you would like to participate, you have to register to get into the hotel or any of the over 30 private parties during the convention. You can’t book individual nights or get access to our seminars or private parties. It is a 3 or 4 night, full convention package, with so much entertainment, parties and fun, you will want to be there for the entire event.

The Main hotel, the Crowne Plaza Hotel, always sells out way in advance.  Book Now 




Theme Nights

Every night has a special sexy “Theme Night” where you’ll find erotic costumes, people body painted, sexy club wear, lingerie and of course, our famous Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball.  This year’s themes will be announced soon.



Bourbon St Parties

We take over most of Bourbon St’s biggest clubs with Private Parties from noon till 6 pm every day.  Join us at the Beach, Razoo, The Swamp, Bourbon Cowboy, the Famous Door, Fat Catz, Patrick’s Wine Bar, Spirits, Krazy Korner and much more. You need to be registered to get in.  Click Here for more information.




Annual Lifestyle Awards

 Find out which clubs are the best in each region as well as the best “Club of the Year” by attending the Annual Lifestyle Awards (the lifestyle “Oscars”).  There will also be prizes for best website, convention, cruises, educators and entertainers. This is a great show and one you should check out while at NIN.

Classes & Workshops

Naughty n N’awlins offers the largest lifestyle education program in the world.  There are classes, seminars and workshops that you can attend every day.  We offer free classes on Tantra, communication skills, BDSM, photography, massage and much more. There are also optional intensive workshops for an extra fee.



What are you waiting for?

You have learned all about the great things that Naughty n Nawlins has to offer.  Contact your friends and join us in July!!  To view a sample of last year’s schedule, CLICK HERE.

*Scroll to the bottom for live interviews taken.

“The Amour Clothing Optional Cabin Getaway is an absolute blast for just about anyone in the lifestyle hoping for a sexy weekend getaway. From its isolated location in the woods, the gorgeous interior of the cabins, relaxing springs of Berkeley Springs and not to mention the sexy couples, this is a trip can be an awesome experience. The only thing you might not like about it , is its inevitable end, as you reluctantly plan your return to the reality of work, kids and all things basic and unsexy.

My wife and I attended the Amour Getaway Cabin Getaway during the summer of 2018 and were joined by about 10 other couples. We arrived at the Main Cabin on a Friday evening to a delicious Salmon dinner and bonus buffet of half naked couples. The cabin was gorgeous with 3 floors, and a sprawling deck. Mattresses covered the area in front of the fire place as some pretty good porn was playing. We had our introductions followed by a sexy ice breaker that got us all oiled up, touching, and well lots of play followed. That was a great evening. My wife and I stayed at a cabin with 3 other couples separate from the main cabin, which was just as nice, but had the addition of a sauna and hot tub. We ended up spending several other hours playing before going to bed that Friday.

That first night was magic, but the following day would be even better. We all had a great breakfast together at the main cabin, before taking a convoy to the bathhouse spa in Berkeley Springs. We split up into small groups to take a dip in baths which were hot but really relaxing. Once we got back to the cabin we spent most of the afternoon playing with reborn energy. That last night included a dinner with the group that got everybody talking and laughing at a local restaurant with a number of menu options. The wait staff was friendly and accommodating to our crowd. Once we were well fed we headed back to the cabin and there was no need for an ice breaker at that point. Playing, playing and more playing ensued and finished off the night chatting and looking at the stars.

Verdict: The getaway was one of the best experiences we had that summer. The crowd was really sexy and everyone seemed to have a good time. The space was really awesome and really fine to just relax in, when you are taking a break from playing and just want to admire the environment. There are also opportunities to hike on the wood trails and see some of the other gorgeous properties.

The hosts are very accommodating and made sure everyone was comfortable. They were also flexible with the crowd which is a major plus for events like this.

Soaking in the bathhouse was a new experience for my wife and I and was definitely an experience we will not forget. Be careful, it can get quite hot, so take some water when you can, and feel free to get out of the water if necessary.

This is a trip we would definitely take again, preferably in the colder months when a dip in hot springs or a hot tub will be pleasurable relief from frigid temperatures.”

The Belle and the Bomber, 8/2018

Listen to their episodes on the podcast…

The Bomber and the Belle share their much anticipated experience at the sexy clothing optional cabin getaway weekend hosted by Amour Getaways. This week they invited some of the other guests as well as the hosts themselves to have an impromptu pillow session.

In this episode the Belle and the Bomber conclude their review of the Amour clothing optional sexy cabin getaway in Berkeley Springs, WV.

The Belle and the Bomber chat with the sexy Chloe and Jackson on this two part series on their experience in the lifestyle. This part will focus on their journey in the lifestyle while part 2 will focus on their experience at the getaway.

The Belle and the Bomber conclude their chat with the sexy Chloe and Jackson on this two part series on their experience in the lifestyle. This part will focus on the details of their first taste of Amour’s clothing optional getaway.

The Black n Kinky Lifestyle Podcast

Shon and I would like to give a special shout out to Amour Getaways for setting up the Rustic Cabin Getaway in Berkeley Springs, WV. It was our first trip to a clothing optional experience and it was a pleasure working with the host. [Amour Getaways] was professional, organized, and made sure that we had everything that we needed for a stress-free and sensual experience.  [They are] very knowledgeable about the location and advised us of everything the area had to offer. We are looking forward to many more great experiences with Amour Getaways.


T. Reed and Shon, Virginia 8/2018


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